Chocolate fixes everything . . .

Some women whose opinions I value have suggested that when life hands you suck, rather than whipping up the life equivalent of the culinary masterpiece of succotash, one (especially if that one is a woman) should go out and bury her sorrows in chocolate. I've given this some thought and have come down on the side of chocolate myself. Okay, truth be told, any quasi scientific reason which would allow me to increase my chocolate cosumption is good in my book. Frankly, ANY reason, quasi scientific, urban legend derived, or espoused by a crazy on the corner of some NY street is really good enough for me; chocolate and I are good friends. At least, that's what I say. I'm not sure chocolate would really feel all that good about our relationship since it really is all give on chocolate's part and all take on mine, even though I do let chocolate have it's say once a day when I step on the bathroom scale.  But I digress. Rather than tell you the intimate details of my undying devotion to chocolate, I wanted to share with you the place that chocolate has recently had in my life.

Just this past week my husband left on very short notice for unnamed hostile places - certain hostile places that scare me more than they reasonably should. I received one call from him informing me that he would be home a day later than originally believed. Okay, I was fine with that. Then he didn't come home when he was supposed to. And he didn't call. And he wound up missing Valentine's day. Now, I know that this is not uncommon. And I know that this is what I signed up for. And I know that this is nothing compared to what other women have gone through while their husbands' have been called to save the world in one form or another. But all of these facts aside, I was still a woman who did not know where her husband was, when he would be home, and what she was supposed to do with herself all alone on Valentine's day. And yet, I did not fall apart. Heck, I didn't even shed a tear or feel the least bit sorry for myself. Okay, okay, that last one's a lie, I felt a little bit sorry for myself, but I didn't let it get out of control. And do you know how I maintained the strong exterior of a wife inured to the vagaries of this life? One word: chocolate.

That's right, when this all started to go down, did I consult my government's web site and prepare with canned food, and water, and batteries? No, because all those guidelines are written by men and say nothing of the healing, stabilizing, and emotional benefits of chocolate. But I knew what I needed, the way birds know to migrate and salmon know to swim upstream, because I am a woman and we women have been heeling ourselves this way for a very long time. Had there been women on the battlefield when Florence Nightingale was ministering to the needs of the wounded I am sure she would have had Hershey Kisses in one of the pockets of her apron. For nothing has quite the power to right so many wrongs as chocolate. Strangely enough,though, I have had little chocolate in my pantry until just this last week. Things have been great and I really didn't need it. But, with the arrival of Girl Scout cookie season, Easter candy at the BX, and an accidental trip down the chocolate aisle of Real, my pantry was suddenly chock full, and just in time.

Now I receive news this evening that my husband will probably arrive home tomorrow. It has been an okay week. I've gotten in some watching of Stargate and seen episodes I didn't know I'd never seen. I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed and waxed the kitchen floor (sadly, I've known for some time how badly that was needed). I spent a day with my landladies and used my German and have been making a point of studying every night. I've earned more gift certificates for toys from Amazon for Darin. And I've given the house a bit of a straightening up. Overall, not a bad week. So, the next time you are faced with a personal or family crisis, I highly recommend you get yourself some chocolate. It really does fix everything.

(Unless you are a guy, in which case, try football or video games. Seriously, you know how different men and women are; why are you consulting me?)